So, now what? Being aware of my issues hasn’t ever been my problem. It’s following up on some type of treatment that’s the real puzzle. I do have good news in that area, however. I finally went to see a new psychiatrist.
If you’re unaware, for roughly 3 years (since my suicide attempt) I have only been seeing my primary care doctor for medication management. However, he has run into some roadblocks with the insurance, so we started looking. I found someone, and I really like her. She’s the first mental health care provider that I have been to in about 10 years that genuinely seems like she’s listening, and she actually cares. I’m grateful for that.
I started 2 new medications. One for depression and one for restless leg syndrome. She also increased my anti-anxiety medication, which is a huge blessing. So far so good, with the exception of being drowsy during the day. It’s a side effect that I assume will gradually wear off. If that’s all I have to worry about, I would say I’m ahead of the game. Once again, it was suggested that I try therapy. Perhaps I will. If nothing else, I will meet the therapist that she works with and see if I’m comfortable. If not, I won’t continue. So, I feel like I’m off to a good start. What about you? Do these definitions seem familiar to you? Were you even aware that there was a name for what you were feeling?
I’m working on it, and I think I will get there. I’ve said it so many times before, but I’m so grateful to have the support of my husband. Without him, there would be no me. For now, I’m going to keep moving ahead and being grateful for the good days. I will focus on my healthy eating and healthy lifestyle. We bought a heavy (punching) bag that we put up in the basement so I can let out some of anger and frustration while hopefully helping me get in shape. I’ve very excited, and I know it will help with my anxiety level.
So, for now, hang on tight! It’s going to be a bumpy ride!