If you're new to this blog, know that
there were posts before this. However, with help from my husband, the
readers, and an amazing publisher I’m turning
those chapters of my life into a book.
It will be out soon, so keep watching.
If you have been reading my blog all along, I would first like to say THANK YOU. You have no
idea the impact that you have had on my life. Whether you commented or
not, you have made me feel like I can face this disease head on while
continuing to help others.
When I look back on the last few months, I
can say that I've been doing pretty well. Most of my episodes of
depression have been relatively brief,
and the good days outweigh the bad. I've noticed lately, however, that I have fallen back into
the routine of not being able to fall asleep until very late at night, and
feeling horrible when I finally wake up the next day. If you add to that
concern for my aging father, my own physical ailments, and the terrifying experience of having one of
our cats get sick, I'm feeling rather down.
I have a lot of pressure on my shoulders
right now. Truthfully, it isn't anything that I normally wouldn't be able
to handle, but I've got a few things stacked up
against me; lack of sleep being number one. Anyone that deals with
Bipolar disorder on a regular basis knows that it often feels like you're
walking across an unstable bridge that is swinging back and forth while you're
trying to steady your pace.
Something else I've noticed that I didn’t entirely expect is an overwhelming
sense of sadness reading through my previous posts. Don't get me wrong,
writing about all of my struggles has helped me immensely, but it has also made
me have to relive them on a fairly regular basis. At times, it's causing
nightmares and flashbacks. However this makes me feel, I plan on accepting that
this is all just a part of the process and will pass. I can't let
something like that keep me from my goals. I have spent far too much of
my life wishing that things could be different. I finally have a chance at a
dream I've had for decades, and I'm moving full steam ahead.
Now that I am finally free to tell the
world that I am an Author, I plan on shouting it from the rooftops.
Shortly, I will be a Published Author. Now is the time for me to
try to focus on all of the positivity that could come from the changes I have made, and try desperately not to let myself
get in the way.
I've worked too hard and too long to have
it any other way.
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