There are days when the pain in your heart is so overwhelming that you can’t think of anything else.
With every breath, it feels as if your lungs are collapsing. I’ve been there and back so many times before. What could I do differently? How could I change this piece of the puzzle? It’s such an odd experience when you feel so empty but so full of pain at the same time. The days are lonely. The nights are hard. When you sleep, you never dream of anything but grief.
For a very long time, I felt different inside. It seemed like I could conquer my fears. My only regret was the physical pain I had to endure, but I thought I was doing my best. Every night, as I attempt to drift off to sleep, it hits me. I’m terrified. I am already so afraid of nothing and everything. Things that haven’t even happened, things that might. I can’t escape it.
Now nothing makes sense, and I can’t make the connection.
Welcome to my Hell. Thank your lucky stars that you’re just visiting.