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I haven’t written in a long time, and while I feel bad about that, it couldn’t be helped. Life has been, in a word, unpredictable. I’ve had trouble with focus and concentration. Which, if you know anything about depression, you know that’s par for the course.

I started a small life coaching business! It is still in its infancy and I’m still learning. My goal is to become a women’s wellness life coach. But, to start I will get a certificate in life coaching. Most of my work is in anxiety. I have helped a few people with that. Everything has been free of charge at this point, but I’m really hoping to move beyond that and start charging soon. The more education and practice, the better!

My podcast launched successfully and that has been going really well. I had an overwhelming response to my request for guests on social media. I was really surprised and a tiny bit overwhelmed. We’re releasing a show a week, so it’s going to take some time to get through the list. I’ve had some great shows so far and I’m looking forward to recording more. Hopefully the surgery won’t keep me grounded for too long.

The difficult thing, which is just adding a tremendous amount of stress to my life is my physical health. Ever since my stomach surgery in December 2024, I’ve had horrific heartburn/acid reflux/nausea/vomiting. Sometimes, it wakes me up in the middle of the night choking and gagging on acidic bile. I’ve been on all of the prescriptions, followed all the rules, bought over the counter stuff just to supplement the prescriptions…hoping. It’s just gotten worse as time goes on. So, my doctor told me that there isn’t anything else to do except bypass. I don’t really understand the logistics, but apparently there’s a really big difference. So, that happens in a few weeks. 

Over the last few weeks, I swear I’ve been through every medical test known to man. Of course, that’s far from true, it just feels like that some days. Yesterday was supposed to be my last one. I still don’t officially have approval, so as of right now, I’m still a little bit of a basket case worrying that my primary care doctor won’t approve it, or insurance will make some sort of moronic decision.

Honestly? All of this, plus a few other situations caused a crash a few weeks ago. I woke up one morning, and I knew it. There was nothing I could do, my life felt completely meaningless. I spent 2 weeks curled up in bed, so severely depressed and in tears. I was terrified, I didn’t know when it was going to end. Doctors were of no help. Thank God I’ve been through that enough times in my life that I can, to some extent rationalize that my entire world isn’t crashing down around me. It hurts and it’s devastating, but it doesn’t last forever. 

Thankfully, I had the support of my husband. I don’t think I’d get through anything without him. I worked at it, little by little. I tried to keep the guilt for not getting all the things done at bay. Eventually, I started to feel better and slowly started introducing things back into my life that I’d put on the back burner to relieve some of the pressure. It’s still a little tricky now. I’m still struggling with some lingering depression, but for the most part, I’m doing OK.

The big thing is, August 3^rd will be my 25^th wedding anniversary. Sadly, we can’t make a big to do because of everything that’s going on, but we’re going to be together and that is what matters. Despite some serious low points in our lives, some of which I am unable to discuss, we do still have the good stuff. And we are still crazy about each other. And we have each other. That is what means the most to me in all of this.

Keep your fingers crossed for me. I’m extremely nervous about life in general and really struggling with getting sleep at night. All I can do is hope that the surgery is successful and it does what it’s meant to do. Then maybe, I can avoid doctors for a little while!